A Smile Connects Us You And Me

Today I finally got my x-ray pictures in the mail from Dr. Gunson's office! I am so excited!! I made a video of the before and after x-rays. There are 2 before and 2 after pictures. I would have just put them up as pictures, but I think this is more exciting :) Feel free to stop it when the credits start rolling, I couldn't figure out how to cut the music so the video goes on longer than necessary. I have more to blog on, but don't have the attention span to do one tonight after just making this video. I had a good Christmas, after a rocky start (details to come!). I love my bite, my pain is at a 3-4, swelling is holding out on me still, my jaw is ready to be in movement. It feels a lot better when I have the bands off...only 2.5 more weeks of full time bands! Will post again soon! Smiling :)

Today is 48 days post-op...tomorrow is the 7 week mark! Phew! My pain level is good, at about a 4/10 still. I am still annoyed with food, or lack there of. However, I am very much looking forward to three weeks from today when I get to chew something delicious! I have noticed more recently that my taste buds are off. I liquefied corn chowder last night (a soup I usually love!) and it tasted terrible. For comparison, I had Sam taste it and he said it was good...tasted just like corn chowder. Hopefully this side-effect from the medication will go away soon!! I want to be able to taste and enjoy food when I can! Here is today's picture...my smile looks contrived. It is because of the hook. It all comes back to the hook. I cannot smile without feeling like I am tearing my inner lip, thus causing a lot of pain. This is new in the last couple of days. I don't know what is causing this but I do not enjoy it! Here's the ' ol close up of the face. The left side is still a bit m...

Wow! Sorry about no blogs this week! I guess it has slipped by the wayside in the preparation for the holiday's. Let's see, I'll try and recap the week...Tuesday I saw my Osteopath (Dr. Myers). She is still pleased with my progress, but we were both disappointed with the return of some swelling after seeing Dr.'s Chira and Mac. I also made gingerbread houses with some friends I hadn't seen a while, and it was nice to see them! On Wednesday I found out my cat passed away @ 14yrs. He had a tumor on his brain and it took over in the last month...which is very sad to me because I wasn't able to spend time with him since surgery... On a happier note-I was able to see different friends, catch up, and think of what I am going to do once the healing is done...how am I going to transition into teaching after being out of "the game" for so long? Lot's to think about on this... Thursday was very relaxing and the heat was FINALLY turned on in our apartment! It...

Last night (Sunday night) I had an appointment with my Orthodontist (Dr. C) and my NYC Dentist/Periodontist (Dr. Mac). The appointment was from 8:15 to nearly 10PM. It was a good appointment to see them both and hear what they have to say about my surgery (all positive). Dr. Mac worked on stabilizing my teeth a bit. I had some metal on metal contact with the bands in the back. My biggest concern at the moment is the hook. Below is a picture of the screw on the top, I connect the band from the screw to the wire hook (that is in my jaw bone & through my flesh). As stated in my last post, this pain is excruciating, stomach churning, pain. Last night Dr. Mac put a special topical ointment on the area before attaching the band and I could still feel it. The Dr's discussed how to maybe alleviate some of the pain. The solution last night was to put the band under the top wire (shown below) instead of going over it. This did not see to feel any better last night, and today it just made...

Today was a very productive day...Sam and I did grocery shopping & spend quality time at the laundromat. It cleared me of any energy I had, but it felt good to get out and be productive! It is cold and snowy up here which isn't very motivating to do much of anything. Still relying on the space heater for heat...Dec. 16th can't come soon enough! I'm pretty sure the botox has started working. If I try to tense my masseter muscles it is pretty impossible...so yay?! I mean that is the result we were looking for, but it is weird not being able to use them. My post-botox appointment yesterday was very anti-climactic. Dr. H came in to look at me, we talked about how my muscles felt and about the spasms I was still having. He also checked my "wobbly" area's that I had earlier in the week. They are no longer wobbly. I go back in a month (a couple days after being in CA for my post-op) to check in. As a result of my masseter muscles not being active my joints hurt m...

My lip & chin do this a lot throughout the day/night. It is completely involuntary. It's my nerves waking up, which is pretty cool to see. Sometimes it's just my chin, sometimes just my lip, and sometimes-like in this video- it is both at once. It usually isn't painful, unless it spasms VERY hard/tight. Anyway, enjoy :) Smile!

Here we are, 5 weeks post-op. We've made it halfway to the soft-food diet! Only 5 more weeks and I can have mashed potatoes! Yesterday's botox went....well? I mean I got it done, and it hurt like hell because I had to clench my already stressed muscles while Dr. H injected the bottle of botox. He did two shots on each side. The shots were done in my masseter muscles . These are the muscles in your face that are right below your ear on your jaw line. If you want to see a picture click on the link above. I don't know if the botox is working yet. I know that I have had 3-4 jaw spasms on the left side since the injections. These are painful. The first one was the worst, it actually shook my entire head. So I don't know if my "masseter muscles" are better, I do know my joints are more pissed. I have been using heat pads to try and help the spasms and overall pain. The swelling is continuing to go down. The left side is still more stubborn than the right, and I stil...

Right now I am feeling not so great after having the botox this morning...I think it is starting to have an effect on my muscles and they feel worse right now...hopefully they will get better. I was feeling no different than yesterday just half an hour ago, so I don't know what cause the change. My jaw is now feeling very tight and like it is in an even greater spasm (if that is even possible). I had an unexpected spasm on my left side that felt so violent it moved my head. This stress really makes me miss eating solid food. Trying to stay positive. I was really feeling okay until half an hour ago...I'm not trying to sound very negative, it's just the way it is right now. Still pleased with my bite and the rest of my recovery areas thus far. Tomorrow is the 5 week post-op mark, lets hope it is a better day. I will post pictures.... smiling :) I will not let this botox get me down.

So tomorrow morning at 11:30 I go in to see Dr. H to get my bottle of botox injected into my face. Awesome. (Note sarcasm.) I am quite nervous about each shot, not knowing how many they are going to need to do, but using a whole bottle of botox sounded like a lot from what his office said. Hopefully it works. Hopefully I don't have a bad reaction from it. I hope that they put some sort of numbing cream or something on my face before doing the shots because I have feeling in my face, unlike right after surgery. I really am more nervous about this than I was about my surgery. I think it's because I just don't know that much about it. However, that being said, I trust in my doctors and that this is what I need to force my muscles to cooperate. Today I had my weekly appointment with my ortho . My ROM is up 1mm to 14mm. She was concerned because part of my mandible is/was "wobbly." Now "wobbly" isn't a term that anyone really likes to hear unless they a...

So here I am 32 days past surgery! Yesterday was a good turning point for me. We took a walk downtown to do some Christmas shopping and grocery shopping. We were out and about for a couple hours and did quite a bit of walking. We went to a restaurant, I tried having the tomato soup, but it was too thick...but it sure felt good to out in the "real world"! Instead of getting more and more tired as we were downtown, my tired level stayed the same. Which I think is good. I took an hours rest on the futon (which included doing my exercises) when we got home. Then I made chocolate-peanut butter no-bake cookies followed by chicken cordon bleu. Then I was able to serve Sam and two friends a delicious dinner of chicken cordon bleu, stuffing, and broccoli. I also sat at the dinner table, but I had my naked drink and water. Making all of the food actually didn't make me miss eating, it helped. After dinner we went to the A.A. Bondy concert. It was good; however, not what I needed. I...

I haven't been sleeping well the last few nights, more than even before. I have also lost my ability to nap during the day. I don't know what's going on, but I am not a fan. I think I need to try to be more active during the day...but how? I am not allowed to start even light exercise till next week. Oh well, at least it's Friday. Sam and I will be setting up our Christmas Tree this weekend & going to a concert tomorrow night to see A.A. Bondy . I am excited to get out and feel a bit normal. It isn't very warm up here in the NE so I think that isn't helping my mood. I do break down almost everyday because this whole process is so frustrating and can be isolating...not to mention physically exhausting. I really think doing "normal" things this weekend will help. I am having more nerve related pain, which is good because it means I'm getting feeling back. However, it is still pain, so it hurts. My muscles in my head have got to stop going into sp...

Here's the smile at 4 weeks post-op! My left side is more swollen than my left. I have to practice my smile a couple times every time I take this picture because it still does not feel natural...it could be all the bands and metal in my mouth...OR the major reconstructive surgery...who knows... This is the promised ROM picture. This is what 13mm looks like. Oh, and you can also see where my left top tooth bonding was chipped during surgery...that's something that will be fixed at some point down the line. I think I'm looking pretty good now, it's just the pesky swelling that still insists on sticking around. The left side more than the right. If you touch my cheek you can feel how hot it is. It is working overtime trying to heal I suppose. Now here is a special little treat, A MOVIE! It's of my exercises, I know reallllly exciting. This is my life for 15 min. twice a day, so I thought I'd share. At the very end I am trying to move my jaw from side to side and th...

I've made it to 4 weeks post-op! I'm currently playing the waiting game on the Botox . Doctors playing phone tag on opposite sides of the country...I hope they connect soon so these muscle spasms can stop... My pain level is the same, I really hope I can start going to PT soon because I think it will help. I am tired...always tired. I have been trying to get more calories and protein in. I think eating more and doing some light exercise would do me wonders. Although, slow and steady wins the race, right? My exercises and mouth stretching are going well. It does take a while for my jaw to "warm up" and reach it's max ROM of 13mm right now. I am making progress brushing, really focusing on trying to open as wide as I can to see my teeth in the mirror. This is very exhausting, but is worth it. I've decided that I still really enjoy cooking even if I can't eat the food. It makes me feel useful :) I think I'm going to keep this a short post and post again l...

I'll start with a positive, my ROM is now 13mm. I gained 1mm this week! Can I get a "Whoohooo" for progress?!?! While at my weekly ortho appointment I also found that my brushing isn't great...I already knew this as it is difficult to even get a baby toothbrush into my mouth. I have to put in even more effort into brushing. It is just so difficult when you can't feel your gums and use the feeling of your brackets and what you can see in the mirror as a guide. All I can do is continue to work at it! I do not want to have issues with plaque. On a different note, my jaw muscles refuse to relax just as before surgery. My body does not react well to the high dose of muscle relaxer needed to force them to relax. Due to this there is talk of a referral from Dr. G to a doctor who will do BOTOX injections to force my muscles to relax. This scares me because I think it's very invasive; however, the pain from the spasms is exhausting. I just wish my body would relax on i...

Sam and I just got back from "Fantastic Mr. Fox" and it was pretty great. It was REALLY great to get out! We also went to the co-op on the walk home and I got a "Naked" brand drink which was delicious! I believe it was strawberry. It was one of the thinner ones so it went down like a charm! I also went to the fresh soup and they had a minestrone. I took the ladle and got all the broth I could. I still had to strain it when I got home, but it was REALLY tasty! I am still nauseous today, but these foods made me feel like a real person. On top of going to the movie, and on top of going to the store, I am very proud of myself for walking to the movie, co-op, and back home. Round trip probably just over half-a-mile, uphill on the way home. I was tired when we got home, but it felt good :) I think it will help me sleep tonight. So this blog really is about pictures since I haven't posted any since day 21. I think you all will be impressed with my swelling! I still hav...

Today I talked with Dr.G again. I was wrong about the reasons for stopping the Zocor, it was for the leg cramps. Apparently this is a side effect he has seen before. He thinks my nausea, et. al. is flu like symptoms...I haven't felt feverish, and if I have been around you in the last week are you sick? Please let me know... I just don't feel like I have the flu, I feel like they are still side effects from the medicine. Either way I hope it goes away.... As for my muscle spasms and jaw tension that is not being relieved from the muscle relaxer I am currently on, or on ones I was on prior to surgery. Dr. G is going to talk to Dr. Chira tomorrow about different routes to go and get back to me tomorrow. I will of course blog and let you all know. I just really would love for the spasms to stop. That's all I really have to blog on today...pain is the same- 6/10, feeling is the same. I dream of having full feeling in my chin and lip. It's crazy, the right nostril of my nose ...

I feel like each day I progress in different ways, and other ways I fall behind. It is a back and forth struggle that has me spinning! However, after talking with Dr.G today I am hopeful that it will get better. He told me to stop taking the Zocor, which I was taking for it's side-effect of anti-inflammatory. We think it is the culprit for my terrible upset stomach, et. al. I have yet to feel relief, but I hope it comes tomorrow! Dr. G asked I call him again tomorrow (even on a Sunday!) to update on my status. Last night I was crippled with terrible cramps from my hips to my toes. I got up to walk several times in the night, this brought no relief, but it did slightly take my mind off of it. When I woke up and came to my senses I realized the cramps were from dehydration for sure! I have been good today about staying hydrated and the cramps have stopped. Sam also made me a variation of the previously mentioned banana-apple juice- peanut butter smoothie. This time substituting milk ...

I have this saying on a picture from my Great Aunt Verna that reads: OH NO!- I ain't complainin' 'Cause things are on the bum; I'm more or less contented T' take 'em as they come; I'm jes' a-settin', watin' Wi my head held kind o' high- For the better days a comin' BY---AND---BY. I'm trying to use this as my motivation. I am going to call Dr. G again this morning to update him, and see what he has to say. I'll post again later to let you all know :) My mood is about 90% better than it has been in the past few days, so I am very grateful for this!

This week has been a roller coaster with pain meds , muscle relaxers, and trying to eat. On top of it I have apparently got the "post-op blues." This is quite common, but I thought I had skipped it since it usually comes around day 10...AND on top of this I am quite nauseous and sick. After talking with Dr.G he thinks I have too much acid in my stomach and has put me on Prilosec along with reducing the muscle relaxer back down to only two pills a day instead of three. I hope this helps both my stomach and my mood. My mood really didn't start heading south till I upped the muscle relaxer. Here's hoping! Thanksgiving was very difficult. The pumpkin soup was a fail, I was too nauseous to even get one sip in, so I had chicken broth instead. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, I love being able to cook, and enjoy spending time with family and friends...and of course the food...but this year I felt like I missed out on it all. I'll just have to make it up in several ...

I've made it to 3 weeks! Black Jack! Wow, so today started out quite rough. After getting the approval yesterday for taking 1 more muscle relaxer at bed time to help with relaxing my jaw muscles I slept quite well...waking up on the other hand, was rough. I was in a lot of pain and very stiff. To get out of bed I had to ask for Sam's help, my legs were so wobbly! I made it to the living room where I perched myself on the futon for a couple hours where I "ate" breakfast and took my morning meds . which includes a muscle relaxer. I decided about 30 min later I was going to try to make my day better by taking a shower....forgetting I had taken the muscle relaxer...needless to say while in the shower the muscle relaxer kicked in and it made things interesting...made it through the shower, had to prop myself up to get dressed, and then perched myself on the futon for a good ol ' nap for a couple hours. So I guess I've learned my lesson with the muscle relaxers, don...

Today I have become painfully aware of my mouth. This seems weird to say, but I can feel inside my mouth much more than I could before, and it is painful and awkward. I don't know how to describe it other than that. To add to it, I am no longer on my pain medicine. I am trying Extra Strength Tylenol, it seems to be taking the "edge" off, but it is not perfect. I am happy to be getting my nerves back, I just wish it didn't have to hurt so much! On a positive note I got the green light to take a little extra muscle relaxer to help with the spasms. This is a GREAT relief! And so far it is helping a great deal today! I think the look of my face is starting to come through the swelling. Today I had another appointment with Dr. Myers. She is still very excited about how far I have come! I also went to physical therapy. I just went over the surgery, and my exercises and that was it! Again I got a great reception, with very positive feedback! I still did not get enough rest t...

Today I had my first post-op ortho appointment. It went very well. All Dr.Chira will be doing for at least the next 8 weeks is checking my bite and measuring my ROM (range of motion - how far I can open my mouth), along with making sure my bite is still spot-on. Today my ROM was 12mm, my goal is 46mm...so I have quite a ways to go; however, I am proud of the progress I have made as I haven't even been at the exercises for a week yet. She took pictures, and I think she'll be sending them to Dr. Mac at least. Today I am again quite exhausted. I drove myself to the ortho because it was a short 10 min drive. I felt normal and okay driving, but I don't think it is best to drive. Tomorrow Sam will be driving me to my appointment with Dr.Myers in the morning before he has class, and I have a couple people lined up to drive me to physical therapy in the afternoon while Sam is at work. At physical therapy we won't be doing anything. She is just going to check in and see how I am...

Today has been very long. Katy was able to come over and spend time with me while Sam had work to do. For dinner she made me Progresso beef stew blended with beef broth. This has reportedly been "very good" and "one of the best." I for one will not be having this again. After finishing my mug of this concoction I nearly vomited. I swear the only thing that stopped me is that I didn't want to have to taste is twice...sorry to be so graphic, but it was that bad. As for the banana, peanut butter, apple juice smoothie I reported on yesterday...it was at best, OK. I will probably have it again because I know it has great nutrients in it, and I didn't have to gag it down...I have yet to find one blended meal that I enjoy. I may just be stuck drinking Special-K drinks till January...I do not have the energy to keep trying terrible blends, they are too much effort...(feeling a bit negative, I'll probably sing a different tune on blends tomorrow...) My pain today...

So the swelling is still slowly going down. I can see that my smile is still more open on one side than the other today. I think it is because of the swelling. Maybe I should practice in the mirror. I'm not going to worry too much about it, I'm sure it'll come with time. Today I tried a new smoothie, recipe compliments of my friend Bunny: -Banana -Peanut butter -Apple Juice It is high in protein which is great for healing. It tastes OK, not the best, but certainly not the worst! I have a lot of pain in my chin. It is a burning, throbbing feeling. I think it is feeling coming back, but it hurts quite a bit. My bottom lip also hurts quite a bit. I have the two old scars on the inner part of my lip from when I had mucus ceals removed. One of the scar sites feels like it did when it was initially healing 6 years ago! The hook on the bottom is still a huge pain as well. I think this area is the biggest pain for me right now, around a 6. Other than that I have pain, I think, in t...

Today I decided to try giving my biggest smile in my daily picture. It is uneven, I think because I don't have feeling on one side of my face. I also have a lot of swelling still in my upper lip and cheeks so that part looks a little odd. I had my first post-op with Dr.Myers (osteopath) today. She was very excited about my results and my treatment went really well. She checked out my ears because of my right ear. She found that my right ear tube is bent or twisted in some way, along with having fluid in it. I asked Dr. G's office about this, they said it will fix its self in time. It is twisted because of the way they had to rotate my jaw during surgery. I hope it fixes soon because I am sick of the water park in my ear! Other than my ear my pain has been under control today. I would say a 5. I haven't had a nap, but I have been resting. I have noticed that my bottom left part of my lip has been twitching a lot. This is the side of my lip that I actually have feeling. I don...

So today started out quite rough...I slept for most of the morning and rested for the afternoon. I was able to get a new pain prescription which I hope I will only need for a couple more days. My sister, Katy, has been helping me out all afternoon. We went to Costco to get my prescriptions and some bulk food. I appreciate all of her help! She has been helping me unpack my bags from California, and organize all of my new food into our tiny kitchen. Normally I love to unpack and organize, but my energy level is at about a 2 these days....that and whenever I try to do anything Katy reminds me I need to rest and sets me up on the futon with pillows and blankets and liquids :) So my pain right now is about a 5. I am feeling so much better now than I was this morning! It is like a complete 180! I still do not have feeling in all of my bottom lip, or my right cheek/nostril, or chin. I think I have feeling everywhere else, although each day I feel like it changes a little bit. I have tingly, i...

Today I woke up in a lot of pain, around an 8. I did miss one of my doses of medicine overnight...so instead of having it every 4 hours I had it after 8 hours, but then the next one was at 4 hours. All morning I have been sleeping and just resting in hopes of keeping the pain levels down. I feel like I have back tracked to day 7 or 8...really frustrating. I have been drinking water and Gatorade, and drinking my Special-K drinks today. I do not have energy to puree any type of smoothie... I also run out of the Oxy today, which yesterday I was totally OK with because my pain was down at a 4...but now I don't think the pain I have will be reduced with Tylenol. I told myself I would see how I feel this evening, and if it is still at a 6 or worse then I will request another prescription...I want to be off of the prescriptions...ugh....one step forward, 6 steps back... I'll post pictures later today. More resting, less stressing.... ....still smiling (I really have come a long way!)

I feel like the last 24(+)hrs have been such a whirlwind...flying red-eye and changing time zones really confuses the mind, but apparently is good for swelling! I am currently so exhausted I'm not sure how this blog post is going to turn out, but I figured I needed to update so everyone would know I got home OK and of course update on the jaw. Flying. Flying was less than pleasurable. My right ear was the devil. It was clogged, ringing, and shooting pain for about 75% of all the flying we did. I did take Sudafed and nasal spray, but it just didn't do a thing. Before getting on the long red-eye from Portland to Newark I took a Claritin which did help for this flight. There was less pain and more of a water park sound in my ear. I was able to sleep, so I am grateful for that. I currently still wish my right ear would "pop." The left ear is OK. I am told continuing Sudafed for several days should help... Last Post-Op went really well. Dr. G said everything looked "f...

Day 13- Swelling is better! Pain is better! I'd say more of a 4, I'm thinking by the time I get home I really won't need to be on heavy meds anymore! I am still fatigued easily, and am very excited to start my new diet!! In a couple hours Sam and I'll be going to my final post-op with Dr. Gunson. I get to brush my teeth!!!!!! Biggest fist pump of victory of the week!! So excited! It is like a horror film in there! I also get to practice opening/shutting without the elastics, learn how to put on the elastics, and maybe I'll get more pictures?? Maybe not. Not sure. I think this appointment is about an hour long. We fly out of Santa Barbara at about 5 tonight, we connect up in Portland, then take the red-eye all the way back east to JFK. We get in to Burlington, VT at 10:30 tomorrow morning! Thanks to Mom, Dad & air miles we get to fly first class from Portland to JFK!! WHOOHOOOO!! So lucky! Thank you so much Mom and Dad! The last 13 days have gone by so fast! I am...