Reconnecting to Life
For those of you who are going through, or have been through reconstructive jaw surgery you know that your "non-jaw-life" tends to fall to the wayside. Priorities lie with getting better, getting rid of pain, trying not to do anything that will hinder your healing process post-op. Now that I am nearly 4 months post-op I can safely say I am FINALLY getting my "spunk" back. Yes I do think about my jaw, but it is now moving toward the sidelines and the rest of my life is coming back to center-stage! I have more energy, I am doing activities I haven't done in YEARS because of my jaw, I am Reconnecting to Life.
It has been incredible being able to go through this journey. It has made me a stronger, more patient, and more in-tune with both my needs and the needs of those around me.
The jaw surgery process can feel so isolating because it is rare that you know someone else who has been through the exact same thing as you. Even reading/participating in message boards devoted to Oral Surgery you can tell that different doctors have different ways of treating and I feel very blessed to have the team of doctors I have. I am also looking forward to NOT seeing them and/or reporting to them on a regular basis. It is easy to be so wrapped up in "how do I feel doing this?" or "what does it feel like when I chew this?" that I forget to actually enjoy what I am doing or chewing.
Yesterday I got my first hair cut since surgery, and it was awesome. I was afraid my neck/jaw would hurt while my head was tipped back into the sink to be washed, but for the first time in 3.5 years there was no pull of my muscles. No strain at all. YESSSS! And to top it off, my hair cut turned out pretty great too! It feels really great to have a new cut to go with my new (yet not that different) face. It's been nearly a year since my last cut so it was much needed and overdue.
Pain- no real pain per say, just discomfort and the feeling of tired muscles in my face. Last week I felt the Botox wearing off and it was painful and my muscle spasms came back, but since then they have calmed down and I hope they don't come back because I would then have to get a second round of Botox.
Food- still soft-chewing. Not sure how much longer I have to maintain this "soft-scrambled egg" diet, but it is okay...sometimes craving things I can't have, but it isn't torture :)
Energy- I feel I have more energy now than I have since surgery, and maybe even in the weeks/months leading up to surgery.
Medication- No longer on hormone therapy as they didn't find it was helping my jaw, so it wasn't needed. I am still on muscle relaxer (1 in the morning, 1 at night), pain killer, anti-biotic, calcium, Vit. D, fish oil, and a multi-vitamin with a good amount of Vit. C in it.
In the last few weeks I have seen both friends and family members who haven't seen me since surgery, some not even realizing the extent of my surgery. Their reactions are interesting. Some seem not even to notice, while others say it's "weird." Now I hope they don't mean "weird" in a bad way, but in a "it's weird to see you with a different face" kind of way. Sometimes it is frustrating meeting people who don't know I had surgery, or understand how invasive and intense it was because they just don't "get" what I have been through. I don't hold anything against people who don't understand, but it can be frustrating. It can also be weird when I explain what I did have done because it usually sounds like I'm trying to pull out the "pity-me" card, when in reality I do not want or need pity. I just want people to understand.
Right now my main jaw (not life) focus is to keep my face muscles happy with heat and light massage on my masseter muscles and increasing my ROM. I need to be able to fit a tray in there for them to take molds so I can get my braces off!!
Reconnecting to Life & Smiling :)
It has been incredible being able to go through this journey. It has made me a stronger, more patient, and more in-tune with both my needs and the needs of those around me.
The jaw surgery process can feel so isolating because it is rare that you know someone else who has been through the exact same thing as you. Even reading/participating in message boards devoted to Oral Surgery you can tell that different doctors have different ways of treating and I feel very blessed to have the team of doctors I have. I am also looking forward to NOT seeing them and/or reporting to them on a regular basis. It is easy to be so wrapped up in "how do I feel doing this?" or "what does it feel like when I chew this?" that I forget to actually enjoy what I am doing or chewing.
Yesterday I got my first hair cut since surgery, and it was awesome. I was afraid my neck/jaw would hurt while my head was tipped back into the sink to be washed, but for the first time in 3.5 years there was no pull of my muscles. No strain at all. YESSSS! And to top it off, my hair cut turned out pretty great too! It feels really great to have a new cut to go with my new (yet not that different) face. It's been nearly a year since my last cut so it was much needed and overdue.
Pain- no real pain per say, just discomfort and the feeling of tired muscles in my face. Last week I felt the Botox wearing off and it was painful and my muscle spasms came back, but since then they have calmed down and I hope they don't come back because I would then have to get a second round of Botox.
Food- still soft-chewing. Not sure how much longer I have to maintain this "soft-scrambled egg" diet, but it is okay...sometimes craving things I can't have, but it isn't torture :)
Energy- I feel I have more energy now than I have since surgery, and maybe even in the weeks/months leading up to surgery.
Medication- No longer on hormone therapy as they didn't find it was helping my jaw, so it wasn't needed. I am still on muscle relaxer (1 in the morning, 1 at night), pain killer, anti-biotic, calcium, Vit. D, fish oil, and a multi-vitamin with a good amount of Vit. C in it.
In the last few weeks I have seen both friends and family members who haven't seen me since surgery, some not even realizing the extent of my surgery. Their reactions are interesting. Some seem not even to notice, while others say it's "weird." Now I hope they don't mean "weird" in a bad way, but in a "it's weird to see you with a different face" kind of way. Sometimes it is frustrating meeting people who don't know I had surgery, or understand how invasive and intense it was because they just don't "get" what I have been through. I don't hold anything against people who don't understand, but it can be frustrating. It can also be weird when I explain what I did have done because it usually sounds like I'm trying to pull out the "pity-me" card, when in reality I do not want or need pity. I just want people to understand.
Right now my main jaw (not life) focus is to keep my face muscles happy with heat and light massage on my masseter muscles and increasing my ROM. I need to be able to fit a tray in there for them to take molds so I can get my braces off!!
Reconnecting to Life & Smiling :)
I'm getting surgery in 12 days, and I already have noticed that all of my Facebook updates and conversations with people include jaw info. I gotta tone it down.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that you've made it through and were able to get your haircut without pain. Keep healing!
Your Mom and I will be glad when your team of Drs are no longer your best friends who just have to see you on a regular basis. Glad they are there, but we're happy to see you move on, more or less pain free. Life awaits; don't let it pass you by! Smile on.
ReplyDeleteLove, DAD
OMG. I just found your blog by divine intervention. :) ha ha. No really, I am going through almost the exact same things...I look at your face and I even think we have similar chins! I am also a patient of Dr. Gunson, I am due to have surgery as soon as we get the go-ahead from insurance. (which I know could be a few months still!) I have been in ortho for only 11 months but have had YEARS, no DECADES of jaw/neck/shoulder pain and had no idea how bad it was until I finally got correctly diagnosed a year and a half ago. Up until that point I had had many splints, etc. but no relief....ANYWAY, I really just wanted to say that I completely get your saying that you don't want pity, you just want people to understand! NO ONE knows how extensive these surgeries are, except the patients and their close family members. It's almost impossible for others to 'get it'...I know I still have a very long road ahead of me. It has been comforting to read your blog. I too, know that this surgery will not take away all the pain, but that I'll at least be able to chew someday again! Sending my best wishes for health and healing to you!
ReplyDeleteKatie Call
katiejoy80@hotmail.com